Thursday, July 17, 2014

 Here's our day.
in pictures.
Of course.

Fourth of July always makes me reflect on how thankful I am for the life we have created and for those that have sacrificed for our family to make this life.  Thankful for my family and freedom.  Hopefully, those things will remain...


the 5th of July...
I left this to get a massage...tough decision.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

She's ONE and we are in love.  
Feeling very thankful and excited to see what our little lady does with her one precious life. 
Thanks for all those that love and invest in our girl.  we are blessed indeed.
Here are few photos of our evening celebrating, 
Tori Louise

Saturday, May 24, 2014

He did it :)
and we are so proud!
Moving on to FIRST grade.

Griffin, I have loved watching you grow into such a confident 6 year old.  
You are looking at our future "scientist." 
A HUGE thank you to, Mrs. Duboise, who made this year so wonderful for our little boy and family.
 This girl keeps us on our toes...
and we wouldn't have her any other way.

My heart almost burst watching her.  She loves dancing, looking pretty, being with her friends, and being loved by her teachers.  

This is her Spring recital:
Neverland :)

We are thankful for friends...

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Your story, Tori Louise Pollard, is my story too.
There were two things I wanted in my birth story; first, I wanted to go into labor on my own and secondly, not to have antibiotics...neither happened. 
When we first found out we were pregnant, we decided that we would see our family doctor for this pregnancy/labor.  I loved every minute of the care there.  The nurse was great, doc was great...until he told me he was leaving on July 3rd for two weeks.  My due date, July 4th.  I jokingly told him, he was in big trouble.  I knew at that moment I was either going to have to be induced before he left or have her without him...both happened, even with the best of my planning abilities. 
I finally decided to go ahead with the induction, but ONLY if we could get the same nurse we had with Ailee.  After trying 3 different days, we finally settled on the 31st only to be bumped to the next day due to an overwhelming amount of mommas in labor.  Which meant, no Carol...
We arrived at the hospital at 9:30am on July 1st.  Yes, a scheduled induction.  I'll never know what it's like to go into labor, but that's okay...
11am: Penicillin
1:40pm: cytotec
3pm: antibiotic
5:55pm: cytotec
6:40pm penicillin
7-8pm: elevated heart rate of baby due to second dose of cytotec
Because of the slow start on my labor, I got exactly what I wanted, Carol, as my nurse.
This is where the story really begins.  It was a feeling I'm not sure I'll ever be able to explain.  But the best way to describe it was like two clicks and all of the sudden a rushing wave of fluid.
Really it's not about the play by play at this point, it was about embracing the contractions that would bring my baby girl into this world.  The one I've been waiting to meet for 9.5 VERY long months.  I was ready to study her face, every detail.  Her nose, her eyes, hold those precious toes and kiss a million times the face I had, up to that point, only dreamt about.  I knew it was the real deal.  My mindset changed and I knew it was go time.  I reached for my phone and immediately put on the Pandora stations I had set up for this very moment.  My phone rested on the pillow right next to me.  The room went from casual chit chat to complete silence.  My MIL, who left 5 minutes before, was called to return, and Jeff began his rhythmic fan waving. 
My amazingly generous friend, Jayna, arrived around 9:30 and began capturing my story, Tori's story, through her lens. 
I had never had any pain meds in my other deliveries, but this time I said yes to fentanyl.  It was just what I needed to regroup after each intense, powerful and life giving contraction.  At 9:40ish,  I was only at 3cm...much to my disappointment. 
Although, I still knew in my gut it was happening and happening soon.  I breathed through each oh so very painful squeeze of my whole mid-section and held on for dear life to the rail on the bed. 
With all the strength I could muster, I asked our nurse if she had called the doc...she said she hadn't yet.  I received one more dose of the pain meds, only to tell her mid-way of her administering it that this baby is coming and she's coming now.  I could feel the pressure of her head dropping and I knew.  I looked Carol in the eyes and I said, "please don't stop me, I know he's not here, but you can do this."  Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a midwife walk in (the same one who delivered Ailee).  She said she could be an extra set of hands.  With seconds to spare, she put on her gloves and threw some stuff around to try to be ready to catch our girl.  One more contraction, I heard Carol say, in one push, this baby will be out.  Those last seconds are a bit of a blur, but I do remember her putting oxygen on me cause she saw our girl's heart rate dropping.  I delivered her head, and I hear the same words as my last delivery...don't push anymore.  I pause and realize they are clamping the cord and cutting it right there...again.  Within seconds, the next contraction comes and I am able to push her all the way out. 
They lifted her up and I got to take that first amazing locked look and I memorize her face.  I was desperate to see a healthy baby.  I did...I thought...but then they took her away before I could take her all in.  I think I heard her make a few squeaks, so I felt better, but she wasn't breathing...  I kept asking Jeff, what's going on?  Is she okay?  He looked at me with the most honesty and courage a man could gather, he said, I don't know if she's okay...I don't know. 
You gotta go find out, I said.
Carol was giving her compressions and the other nurse was holding the oxygen, she was also given an anti-narcotic shot because the fentanyl was given so closely to her birth.
At that moment our doctor walked in and took over our sweet baby's care.  He adjusted her oxygen and literally within seconds, she took off on her own.  We had some amazing moms who prayed like crazy for her life.  Thank you, Jesus, for hearing all our prayers.  Her apgar scores were 2,5 and 8.  Jeff also brought back video to my bed showing me that she was responding well and breathing on her own.  That's a good man. 


Finally, I got my girl.  I stared at her and continually kissed her face.  I studied all of her.  I'm in love.  She's perfect.  I can't get enough.

My heart overflows. I made it, she made it.

Here's a great man that endured my pregnancy and her crazy birth.



See I had to examine every detail...
and hold those toes.
There will always be a special place in my heart for this woman.  She did it again.
Daddy already loves her,
and so does Mema.

I couldn't get enough.  My eyes were glued.  She's finally here.  She's even more perfect than I even imagined.
Little lady, your story is just starting.  I'm excited to see what makes you, you.  This Momma is smitten, I'm so glad you are mine.  Well, I guess I'll share you.  You, my sweet girl had two very excited siblings who couldn't wait to see MEET you too.

They love you.  That's for sure.  Griffin kissed and held you like he had already known you.  My heart was bursting just watching them embrace you.  If my calculations are correct, you have received around 61,001 kisses to date :)

If there was one thing I was uncertain of, it was how Ailee would process it all.  From the moment she saw you, she hasn't stopped asking if she can hold you, kiss you one more time, and always wanting to know where you are.  I feel like you have brought out a side of her I never knew... 

and it's a beautiful thing.

She's a natural.

Griffin, too, loves you.  He especially loves to kiss you.  He does his own thing, but always makes time to come see you, smile at you, and lay a huge smooch right on you. 


Holy moly, we have THREE kids :)

Tori Lou, you are ours and we hold tightly to the gift that we've been given.  We know our lives are fragile and we trust the One who gave you to us with your life.  Your beauty has this momma's heart amazed and in awe of our creator.  Your one white patch of hair is truly a reminder that He knows you and made every detail of you.  May you grow to know Him and love Him as your daddy and I do.  So thankful you are here...
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