Thank you thank you thank you to Jayna for taking these photos for us. I debated on having them done, because she had already painted a watercolor of me, BUT I'm so glad I did. I hardly edited them, I knew it was more important to get them on here than to never get it done. I have to give total props to our kiddos. They were amazing, even Mae who has a bit of sassy side was extra workable. With a combo of the light and the kids totally working with us, it was a great night. We ended the night at Cold Stone :)
With this being our last "planned" pregnancy, I really tried to savor the kicks, hiccups, and movements or our growing girl inside. I'm not great at being pregnant, I'll be honest. The first half is full of sickness and exhaustion, the second half is what I've called being flat lined. I'm not myself, blah, tired and can't play with my kids. I miss the me I know.
My family dealt well with it all. The kids prayed for me every night and my hubs took up ALL the slack. Jeff was amazing, he put the kids the bed alone for months, and most of all loved me when I could give nothing. As I look back over my pregnancy (written after her birth), I'm really glad it's over, but mostly I'm in love with our girl and blessed with her health. No, I don't want to do it again, but it truly is a miracle to look into her eyes and know she was in there all the while.
I had a 9 week ultrasound for a little peace of mind. I wanted to know that I was going through the worst of it for a reason...sure enough there was her heart, beating away...steady and strong. I didn't know her of course, she looked like a peanut back then, but she grew into who we know now as our daughter. I had a few scares along the way. Everyone says that at they felt their 3rd super early, me? nothing. I didn't feel her move until after 20 weeks. I even went in just to hear her heartbeat at 18 weeks. Sure enough, beating strong again.
The following week, at 19 weeks along, we got to see her. The memory that sticks out the most is seeing her lick her lips. I was in awe, yet still anxious about her health. We also discovered that the placenta was located right in front, which made it more difficult to feel her move. I worried that she had low muscle tone, but this gave me some peace of mind. Pregnancy is so nerve wracking. We also shockingly found out our third child was a girl. With certainty we were ready to see those boy parts...nope, our future showed a beautiful sister/daughter for our family.
and "boy" are we thankful for her.
One other part of my pregnancy sticks out to me...a few loyal friends. There were meals delivered, kids taken care of, and times they let me just sit and zone out while they fixed me food and took care of me. I wasn't sweet or all that friendly, but they loved me through it. I learned a lot about serving through Martha and Loleeta. These two were my rocks. My safe place to fall, and I love them for loving me when I couldn't love back. My "other" mom, (Jeff's mom) was also super consistent and took my kids EVERY Wednesday, and oh how I looked forward to that day every week, to sleep or do what I couldn't do with two kids in tow.
I must say, reflecting back, it's a miracle, the whole thing. These 3 pregnancies have made me a stronger woman and clearly a stronger mother. I'm grateful for all 3 experiences. I loved feeling them move inside of me, all three had wonderful hiccups, and I am forever changed and blessed to have carried them to term. My body is forever changed as well. I'm maturing into appreciating that part ;)
My kids, the big ones, they get a sister. Each one will have a completely different relationship with her. I'm excited that I get to see that grow and turn into a lifelong relationship. My Mae, she gets a sister. Will they stand next to each other on their wedding days? Will they share clothes, experiences, stories, life...heart ache and mountain tops? That's my prayer. I know they will fight, but will it bring them to realize how much they really love one another? I am beyond thrilled to watch them grow. And my boy, he's so excited to have her here. He's a lover. I like to say he's known for his drive by kisses. He's got a big job, to protect TWO little sisters. I know he's up for the job. I love that God planned for him to be the oldest. They are lucky to have him. He also knew that our new little one was a girl WAY before that 19 week ultrasound. He just knew and was totally fine with it. I know they will look up to him for many things. G, lead them well, lead them well.
Baby girl, we love you and you were worth EVERY second of this pregnancy :)
