Experiment 52, #8

it's simple...snow + us = good times :-)

Lovin' us some family time.

life is good.

Sun, more sun, please.

FYI...this Momma just started, beth moore's, Esther study.  Could there be a more perfect timing?  I think not.  Femininity is just happenin' all over the joint.  Until I know what I've gotten myself into, I'll just share what we've been doing the last few days.  LOVIN' THE SUN!!

After a whole day inside on Monday, doing catch-up laundry and such, Tuesday brought on some much needed outdoor life.

Griffin loves going to the skate park to ride his bike, so off we went.  He showed me some sweet moves Travis does.  Gotta love me some three year old fist pumps :-)

He wants so badly to be a skater/motorcross dude, but he's just a little timid for the whole thing.  I want him to love what he does, but not scare me to death, so for now, I'm just great with it being "all talk."  Lately, there are motorcycle races in our house every night, which means all of us running a circle through the kitchen, living room, and dining room.  Ailee even gets in on the action.  There are ramps too that cause some serious jumps to be had (transitioning from tile to wood). 

Another new thing around our house, is, three brings on boyhood.  He loves his Dad and wants to be doing everything with him.  For example, there is a manditory baseball game that has to occur in his room every night before sleeping is ever a thought.  It doesn't matter if it's fixing things or playin' games, this boy loves being a boy.  One of my favorit things Jeff says, is, I just love watching him love being a kid/boy.  We are blessed to have a Dad that loves to be with his kiddos.  From the time he walks in the door until we stay "just two more minutes" in Griffin's room at night, Daddy is on kid-time!!  

Back to lovin' the sun.  If you haven't noticed, this girl is WHITE.  She gets that from her father :-), she was out literally 15 minutes and came home with these rosey cheeks.  Oh man, guess that means I better get on  buying that AMAZING bonnet from etsy.  Just wait until you see this thing, it's so cute.

 TODAY- GAVIN DAY!!  {fist pump}

I got to finish my Bible study while these little guys played...they did great together.  Then off to open gym. 

For the record, I LOVE that Griffin has a cousin to grow up with.  These guys are super tight and it's my prayer that they continue to make trouble together.  I never had cousins that lived close or were close in age, so this I LOVE. 



Thanks to Jayna for taking this picture...need to be in more with the kiddos.  (cherry on top of a great day)



this one is going in Griffin's room.  Stay tuned!

Experiement 52, #7

I'm at that point in the year where all there is to say is, at least it's one week closer to summer. Anyone with me on this?  There are a few things that redeem this cold, windy (why in the world do we already have wind, I thought that was for Spring?) weather, like, for example, a sweater dress.  Talk to me!  I would, willingly trade it in for a sundress, but it's still stinkin' cute.  Tryin' to bloom where we are freakin' planted...but this wind keeps pushing me south.  grrr.



Arrived.

About a week ago, I saw something that said, "what is your word of the year"?  I thought for a long time...blessed,yes... hope,yes... love, got lots of that... family, couldn't be happier; but that wasn't it.
Then it hit me,

"ARRIVED." 

I later heard someone say, arrived means you have no where to go.  I was suddenly saddened for her.  I wanted to yell out, it is SO far from no where to go,  it's, I'm finally in just the right place. It's, the journey is only beginning. It's, thank you, God, I've "arrived" at just the place you have created me to be, to live, to grow, to learn....yes, I'm there. 

FYI...hubs just texted and asked if I wanted Starbucks...ARRIVED!!



The thing about arriving is that you sure haven't figured it all out, it's only just beginning.  Take this little love, below, as an example.  He's now 3, have I mentioned that he's 3. WOW.  Wow, does mean, he's amazing, he loves big, he learns big (recognizes all his letters and knows their sound, wow), BUT he also argues BIG, talks back BIG, and wants now, BIG.  I'm learning, we're learning.  

It's not all cuddles, laughs, and fun.  No, it's a lot of learning on both our parts.  We, as parents are willing to take on the role, in order for him to learn who he was created to be, for him to "arrive".  I know he wouldn't find it, if we left him to his own ways.  I have to be honest, it hurts, it sucks, but we're called to love him through it.  There are days I'm not sure I'll make it to 4, then there's those moments I wish time would stand still.  Like when he grabs his sister's head and pulls it toward him so he can give her a kiss right where he wants to.  Oh, and it's not just one kiss, it's like 3 or 4...then he'll run and hit something with his bat and come back and kiss her again.  He loves BIG.

This little corner of land we are now trekin' around is totally worth it.  We'll get through this, he's get through it, and we be able to put a push pin in the map, look back and see where we've been.   It'll be nice to say we've explored it and now we're on to a new location.  I love that. 

So, yes..."Arrived" will be my word of the year!

Here's to much more exploring.

Brace yourself for CUTENESS...

Happy {heart} Day.

In keeping with my new flair of adding a bit of "wildness" to my life, two of my friends helped me host a Valentine's party.  By helping I mean they did most of the work.  I cleaned the house, well part of it, and made the food, Jayna and Christine pulled through and did the rest.  Including all decorations and getting a craft together for THREE year olds.  Thank you ladies for making the day so special for me and for my kids (Ailee almost slept through the party but made her appearance right at the end :-)).

Also, thanks Jenn for letting us use your cricket and for making those cute desserts...LOVE.

When I moved here in '06, I never thought I would make these connections.  I feel blessed beyond measure in the friends department.  Just look, we have 12 place settings here for just the 3 and 4 year olds.  There were also babies everywhere.  Thank you to all you Mommas who put your little kids bums in these seats and fill our hearts with your love...SMILE.

Enjoy our little make-shift photo booth:

We missed you Keri, Joss, and Trip...Sad!

Let's just be honest, we don't even need to say how made these...are they perfect? Yes! it must be Missy.  Great job once again, friend.  Oh and thanks for letting my son chase your son around my house with a baseball bat.  According to Griffin, Noah loved it.

(experiement 52, #6) 6 lovable months...

6 MONTHS

15.5 lbs



The arrival of the 6th month has been a little clouded by the colds our family is thoroughly enjoying...grrrrr.  Although, on a great note, you wouldn't know from all the smiles we getting while the boogers continue to roll out your nose :-)  Your eyes are the saddest thing...red and a little droopy...sigh.

Little A, we are loving all the new interaction we are getting from you.  Your brother is learning the trade game, as you sneakily take things that are his that happen to be in arms reach.  He's still pretty chill about you having his stuff.  And truth be told, he gives you his motorcycles most of the time hoping you will play with him.  I hope you are loving the tires are chew toys.

You, unfortunately, picked up some rotten sleeping habits over our 2 week Christmas travels.  Once we got back home, you started waking up at least 2 times and some nights even 3.  You are going to bed a 8 now, every night we are home, which is about 5, between homegroup and some other night out.  You LOVE going to bed.  You and Momma go in your room and turn on a very low light and read some books and then you nurse and by then you are almost out for the count.  I pack your back and whisper in your ear how much I love you and pray that you sleep well.  I put you down on your back and wrap you up as snug as a bug!  You turn your head and snuggle right in.  You also love to have the music from your bear playing as you drift off.  (Because I haven't had much time on here, it's already 2 weeks into 6 months, and your sleeping better already.)  You are now only waking up ONE time and you usually make it somewhere between 4-6 and then sleep until 830.  I'm great with that...but wouldn't be upset if you decided to just go straight to 8. 

Six months also starts to month of FOOD.  Funny thing is, you don't really care for it.  I have NEVER seen a baby refuse.  There's the typical funny face and chills that go along with the experience, but you, you say no thanks.  First it started out with you pushing it out, then crying, then the opening SEALED shut.  No matter what we did you refused to open your mouth...what ta do???

We decided to go back to the beginning, also because of a mysterious rash, that might have some connection to food.  So we stopped all food and started giving you oatmeal with pumped milk, no rice cause that wasn't happening and no water either...and you ATE....praise the Lord.   We are still at this stage, rash is almost gone, so we will start again this week on the veggies.  I'll let you know how that goes. 

You are sitting up like a champ.  I just LOVE your posture, no slouch!  You have the occasional, TIMBER...but for the most part you got it.  This has really allowed you to play with your toys more easily and for you to be able to look around, which you love.  You follow me with your eyes where ever I go.



Experiment 52, #5

This boy loves to shower...just don't tell him it's time to wash his hair. 













Bitin'

I've been bitin' HARD by the Kelle.Hampton bug.  Every time I sit down to read I get sucked in for hours.  Her title is, "enjoying the small things" and oh does she ever.  The thing I love most...well the whole thing, but the way she photographs her kids. Constantly! and the way she writes about how they come first and how her heart has been forever changed by the two lives she's been given. 

I've always wanted to be a mom.  It's my heart's cry.  I love my role.  I can honestly say, this is the most content I've ever been.  I've arrived. 

I gave up on it, in my head, there for a few short years while in college.  My parents divorced when I was 5, leaving me in a world of unknown territory.  I became someone that I'm certain I was never intended to be.  A bit harder around the edges and a tom-boy to gain the acceptance of my older brother.  Before there were ballet classes, concerts given by me for anyone who filled our house, dolls...(oh the love of baby dolls!), a free spirit, pink, you name it.  It was gone for awhile, but...

                                        

I found it again, in a little soul sister with HUGE blue eyes and shares my last name.  Ailee Mae, you are changing my world.  Oh sweet thing, so much for the better.  I want to show you what it means to be a woman, to love all things feminine.  The best thing is sisterhood.  Oh the things you'll do with your girls.  My prayer for you, right now: to find DEAR DEAR girlfriends. 


Photo by caryn ahern :-)



My relationship with my mom has never been better.  We've been working through the stuff that sucks you down and with joyful tears coming out the other side.  I'm certain, honesty heals and for that I'm thankful.  My mom, without a doubt, is the soulest of sisters to me!

My dad, that too has come to a place of growth.  It started with the birth of our first-born, son.  (More on that little man later and how he carries my heart).  The other day, I got a text from him saying, "daughter, I love you"  that's it, but that's all it needed to say.  In those few short words, I read: I'm proud, I miss you, I love you and I wish I was there.  It made my day.

I must say, there was someone else who really paved the way to me finding my heart, my femininity and my desire for family.  My love, my husband:  Jeffery.



photos by Danie Koskan

He deserves a hundred posts of his own, but let me just say, he never lost faith and he was always there for me.  This may seem crazy, but dating sucked and our marriage is fabulous.  We really learned to work through some heavy stuff in those first few years.  It does make for incredible communication and deep friendship and love for each other. 

i LOVE photography.  i LOVE my kids...
As far back as I can remember, my mom would seize the moment and never miss a "photo op."  Mostly I remember because we would be stopping traffic, trespassing, or arriving late to wherever we were going.  I eventually got over the embarrassment of her timing and grew to admire her work.  Although my Mom's passion is more on the nature side and mine is children, I love that she has shared with me such a fulfilling art form. 

My love has recently grown in the awareness of the "small things."  As a photographer, I love seeing parents faces when, as one client said, "I've fallen in love with him all over again."  That's our goal, isn't it?  To bring about a response that causes more love.  I've arrived.

I'm relearning and tapping into my more "free spirited" side.  The kind that LOVES leg warmers and tights on chubby thighs.  The kind that has tears rolling down my face when I see my 5 month old in a tutu.  I just sit and dream about the day she too has her first ballet class, where both her daddy and I are beaming with pride.  I'm doing and saying things I never thought possible.
. 

And to think I was scared to have a daughter.  Would I have what it takes to raise her to be the woman her heart is calling her to be?  I've let most of those fears go and trusted from DEEP down what I know to be true of womanhood.  These little people bring so much out of us.  I don't think I realized until recently how much I need them.  They are like therapy for my soul. 

I certainly won't be using any repellent when I comes to ideas of fun things to do with them, how to love them more deeply, and how to photograph these crazy-short few years before they grow up.  And as Kelle puts it, to "suck the marrow" out of this time, this day.  "Bloom where you are freakin' planted."  Although, Florida does sound nice right about now with the below zero temps we've been having. 

It's the best "book" for me at this time, and the greatest part, it never ends.  Thank you, Kelle for being so vulnerable , real and...okay, a bit wild.  I'm workin' on it. 

Griffin and Ailee...may you always know your Momma is crazy about you.